Its so easy for me as a mom to just go in "mom mode" in so many instances and not really step back to breathe and realize what may be going on under your nose. The joys of parenting right? Well being a mom of such a big age range of kids, I have to make sure that I keep my perspective for each child and what their needs are. Our 15 year old struggles with life decisions and just wanting to be a kid sometimes. I hated being 15 and the feelings it made me feel trying to find my place in my life and the lives of those around me. So much happened in my life around that time and as time goes on, I realize more now the struggles of that age. So being her stepmom is not easy...I have to balance being a mom and a friend.
Our 8 year old struggles with the pain of "losing best friends" and trying to discover the idea of "having a girlfriend". Yes I know...much to young but he is a dreamer. He has a good heart and wants to be friends with everyone and doesn't understand the lesson we all had to learn the hard way. People come in and out of your life for a reason and of course...we will not be liked by everyone. Soul crushing maybe but.a truth that has to be accepted.
And our 3 year old that is very spirited and feisty and is going through an EXTENDED period of terrible twos. I mean she is such a sweetheart and so funny and so adorable but everyone is hers and everything is hers and she wants to do everything by herself. Phew...she definitely keeps me on my toes!
Our older girls are so busy and so involved in "adulting" we hardly see them. Its hard knowing they are getting older and as much as we love the fact that we taught them to be independent and hardworking and successful in their lives, on the other hand, it is sad not being a part of their daily routine life anymore.
I love each and every one of my kids with a full heart and would do anything for them. I am known as the "hard one' and it seems I can be "scary"....but these children have no idea my struggle of being that person in their life. I may not show it but it does break my heart to have to say or do some of the things I do because I have a responsibility to make sure these kids make it in life and are capable of handling themselves if the parents are gone. No one ever thinks it happens to them, but so many dreams are broken every day and so many families torn apart. I always remember that at the end of my life when I stand before God and He judges me for the type of mom I was....I want to be judged as one that made sure my kids were taken care of physically and emotionally and that I gave my 100%. Regardless of being liked or hated. My first job is to be a parent and when its time to jumping to friend mode...I am there!